sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
