whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize