Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
