not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
