Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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