babies were throwing up all over the place
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
