That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
