highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
don't judge my taste in strippers
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
