that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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