is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
