u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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