unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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