we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
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I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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