Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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