He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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