i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
