I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize