Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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