So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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