your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I can't put those talents on a resume
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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