we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize