singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
