Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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