It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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