Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
