I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
