for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize