the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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