Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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