If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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