lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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