Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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