the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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