If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
