you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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