is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
