she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
