I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
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They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
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I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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