She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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