I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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