if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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