Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
