So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
