If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
