He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Randomize
