What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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