we're chasing vodka with high fives
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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