Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The feeling are messing with the penis
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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