im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
