Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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