We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
