What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
