I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
