i always forget guys have bellybuttons
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
