if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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