Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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